How a Funeral Celebrant Can Help You Honour a Life in a Way That Truly Reflects the Person You Love
When it comes to honouring a life, there are more choices available with a funeral celebrant than most people realise.
I think a lot of people, when their loved one has gone, are in a kind of fight-or-flight mode in the midst of grief. It’s such an emotional time — the practicalities can feel overwhelming, and the world seems to move faster than you can process. So, quite naturally, we tend to go with what’s offered by the funeral director — usually a standard service in a church or crematorium. It’s familiar, it’s straightforward, and it feels safe in the storm.
But what I want people to know is that you have options. Just as with weddings, funerals and celebrations of life don’t have to follow a single template. There are endless ways to honour a life — ways that feel true, heartfelt, and completely personal.
Today, I’ve been writing a ceremony for a person who passed away far too young. The family made the decision to have the cremation take place privately, without anyone present. Instead, they’ll be gathering for a ceremony at the person’s favourite pub — a place where laughter flowed easily and stories were shared over good food and drink.
There will be no time restrictions, no unfamiliar surroundings, and no sense of being hurried along. Just space — space to reflect, to smile through the tears, to celebrate the person they love in a place that feels right.
It’s such a beautiful thing when families realise they can do that. And it’s one of the reasons I feel so passionate about being a celebrant — helping people understand that they’re not limited to “what’s always been done.” You can make this moment deeply personal and truly meaningful.
Why Personalised Ceremonies Matter
When someone dies, there’s an instinctive pull to do right by them — to create something that feels worthy of the life they lived. But in the haze of grief, it’s easy to fall into routine patterns. We might assume that the only options are a set service, a few readings, a piece of music, and then on to the wake.
Yet every person is different. Every life is different. So why would every farewell be the same?
A personalised ceremony allows space to tell the story — not just through words, but through setting, music, ritual, and atmosphere. It becomes a reflection of the person — their humour, their passions, their kindness, their quirks.
That’s what makes it so powerful. It’s not just about saying goodbye. It’s about celebrating what was unique and beautiful about that life.
The Role of a Celebrant
A celebrant’s role is to walk beside you through the process — to listen deeply, to ask gentle questions, and to help uncover the essence of the person you’ve lost. Through those conversations, a celebrant gathers the stories, the memories, and the little details that make up a life.
Then, with care and creativity, they craft a ceremony that weaves it all together.
A celebrant helps you explore possibilities. Maybe you’d like to hold the ceremony in a favourite garden, by the sea, in a community hall, or somewhere else that carries meaning. Maybe you want to blend music, poetry, and personal stories. Maybe you’d like to include symbolic gestures — lighting candles, planting a tree, or raising a toast.
We can make all of that happen.
A celebrant can also handle the practical details — guiding the order of service, liaising with venues, and helping family or friends feel comfortable taking part. The aim is always the same: to create a ceremony that feels right for you and reflects the person you love.
Some of the Possibilities When Honouring a Life
There are so many ways to honour a life, whether you choose to hold the ceremony in a crematorium or somewhere entirely different. Here are just a few possibilities families have embraced:
- A Celebration of Life at a Favourite Place
Whether it’s a pub, a café, a park, or a beach, holding the ceremony somewhere meaningful instantly makes it more personal. You can include photos, music, candles, or readings that tell the person’s story. - An Outdoor Gathering
Nature has a beautiful way of grounding us. Some families choose to hold ceremonies in woodlands, gardens, or by the water, often incorporating rituals like scattering petals or planting something living in memory. - A Home Ceremony
There’s something deeply comforting about gathering at home. The space itself often holds memories — the scent of their favourite meal, the chair they always sat in. A home ceremony can feel intimate and healing. - A Memorial or Celebration Later On
Sometimes families prefer a small private farewell first, followed by a larger celebration weeks or months later. It can take the pressure off and allow time to plan something truly meaningful. - A Themed Farewell
Did the person have a favourite colour, hobby, or interest? You can weave that into the ceremony. I’ve seen families bring in everything from football scarves to musical instruments — small touches that bring smiles amid the sadness.
And here’s something important: even if you do choose to hold the ceremony in a crematorium, you can still make it personal and heartfelt.
Recently, I presided over a crematorium ceremony for a man who enjoyed a gin and tonic sundowner once in a while. Rather than ending the ceremony on a sombre note, we finished with a toast — gin and tonics in hand — to honour that simple pleasure of his life. It transformed the atmosphere. People smiled. They clinked glasses. You could feel the love in the room.
Moments like that remind us that personal touches aren’t limited by location. Even in a crematorium, there’s room for warmth, laughter, and authenticity.
Five Top Tips for Honouring a Life in a Meaningful Way
1. Take Your Time (If You Can)
In those early days after a loss, it can feel like everything has to happen immediately. But if possible, pause. Take a breath. You don’t need to rush the ceremony. A little extra time allows space to think, reflect, and make choices that truly feel right.
2. Choose the Right Location
Think about where the person felt happiest or most at peace. It could be by the water, in the countryside, or somewhere urban and lively. The right setting helps set the tone and connects everyone to their memory.
3. Tell the Story
Facts and dates don’t capture a person’s spirit — stories do. Share anecdotes, memories, and moments that paint a picture of who they were. Those details are what make a ceremony come alive.
4. Involve Others
Invite family and friends to play a part. They could read a poem, share a memory, or help choose the music. When people are involved, it turns the ceremony into a shared act of love and remembrance.
5. Work with a Celebrant You Trust
A good celebrant will listen carefully and help guide you through the options with compassion and clarity. They’ll help you shape a ceremony that feels personal — whether that’s formal, informal, or somewhere in between.
A Ceremony That Feels Like Them
Ultimately, what matters most is that the ceremony feels like the person you’re honouring. Whether that means soft music and candlelight or laughter and a toast, it’s about capturing their spirit in a way that feels right for everyone who loved them.
I’ve seen firsthand how powerful that can be. When a ceremony feels authentic, it brings a sense of peace — even in the heart of grief. It becomes a celebration of connection, a reminder that the person’s story continues through those who remember them.
So, if you ever find yourself planning a farewell, remember: you have choices. You don’t have to follow a script. You can create something that’s truly reflective of the life lived — something that feels honest, comforting, and beautiful.
And if you’re unsure where to start, that’s where a celebrant comes in. A celebrant can help you find the words, the structure, and the moments that honour your loved one in a way that’s meaningful and true.
Because when it comes to saying goodbye, it isn’t about doing what’s expected — it’s about creating a moment that feels like love, in its purest form.
Share the love