How to Write a Eulogy for a Loved One When You’re Grieving

Most of us never expect to write a eulogy. It tends to arrive suddenly, often at a time when emotions are raw and thinking clearly feels incredibly difficult. You’re grieving, you’re tired, and you’re trying to find the right words for someone who mattered deeply.

I know how overwhelming that can feel. The very first eulogy I ever wrote was for my mum, fourteen years ago. I was right in the middle of my grief, and I remember how hard it was to focus, to think creatively, or to trust that anything I was writing was good enough.

That experience is one of the reasons I talk so openly about eulogies now. Writing one isn’t hard because you don’t care. It’s hard because you care.

Recently, I spent time talking with Sabine from Pure Cremation about writing and giving a eulogy. In the video, we explore why this can feel so overwhelming, how grief affects the way we think, and what really matters when you’re trying to honour someone you love.

If you’re struggling to know where to begin, here are a few gentle reminders I share in the conversation:

• There is no right or wrong way to write a eulogy
• You don’t have to include everything
• It’s okay to ask others for memories and help
• Honesty and sensitivity can exist together
• Showing emotion is completely natural

In the video, we also talk about practical ways to make this more manageable. From simplifying what you want to say, to writing it down and reading it aloud, to finding ways to include more than one voice if that feels right.

Most importantly, we talk about letting go of the idea that this has to be perfect. A eulogy isn’t about performance. It’s about love, truth, and showing up as you are.

If you’re facing this right now and feeling overwhelmed, I hope the conversation helps you feel a little less alone. You can watch the full video below for more ideas, reassurance, and practical tips on how to write a eulogy for a loved one.

Be gentle with yourself. Whatever you’re able to offer is enough.