A Summer Solstice Commitment Ceremony in the Woods: An Uncommon Wedding

People often assume that being a celebrant means performing weddings and funerals. I do both, and I love both, but that’s only part of what I do. I create ceremonies to honour all sorts of moments in life and I love it when the people in front of me don’t fit neatly into anybody’s box. And that’s how L&C’s commitment ceremony came to life.

Love isn’t linear. It doesn’t come in one shape or size and it certainly doesn’t arrive pre-packaged! Love is a full spectrum kaleidoscope of colours that evolves and changes shape over time.

I get very excited when people who don’t fit the traditional script approach me seeking a ceremony that celebrates love in all its forms! So, when L&C got in touch I had a feeling we were going to love working together!

(You’ll notice I’ve called them L&A throughout rather than using their full names. That’s to protect their privacy because a day this personal deserves a little discretion.)

L&C found me the way many couples do – Google! They were looking for a fun, slightly quirky celebrant who would embrace their relationship exactly as it is, and the way they wanted to celebrate it: surrounded by their family, their chosen family and their wider community. Fun and quirky – of course I said yes straightaway!

When L&C Met

L&C kept bumping into each other at club nights, gatherings, festivals – that particular orbit of people who share a scene and keep finding each other across crowded rooms. L noticed C straightaway: the ever changing hair, the one of a kind style and their warmth. C had noticed L too – bright and chirpy and as cosy as a hug!

They admitted they liked each other but also admitted – being the grown-ups that they occasionally are – that neither of them had room for a new relationship at the time. So they let it be.

A year later, at a small woodland festival, C invited L to meet them at sunset. Hidden among the trees was an old iron bath with hot running water and a few worth stopping for. Bubble, the two of them, and a lot of mosquitos! That was their first proper date!

C is married to their wife, who is very much a part of this story, and over time L has become a part of the family in the truest sense of the word. She watches the children swim and play football and so much more. That’s the kind of love this is – it doesn’t shrink to make room. It grows.

The proposal to commit to each other came on birthday night out. L was a little tipsy and asked C whether, if things were still good in a couple of years, C might consider a handfasting. Their answer was immediate, emphatic and a big yes! A year later came a second, rather more deliberate proposal on an early morning walk by the river, with a silver balloon dog necklace. C said yes again, of course.

Festival Vibes on the Summer Solstice

Their Uncommon Wedding, as they called it right from the start, took place on the eve of the Summer Solstice with a Handfasting ceremony. It couldn’t have been more perfect for or a couple whose love story keeps coming back to Midsummer. Their festivities were held on private land deep in the Hampshire woods that dear friends had gifted them for a whole week.

The whole day had proper festival vibes. As I arrived everyone was getting dressed up in their festival finest, setting up the circle for the ceremony and simply enjoying being in the company of friends. L&C had spent months preparing for the big day and their hard work really paid off. Once everyone was glammed up, we gathered in a stone circle with a bit of music, drums, and dancing before L&C joined us to begin the ceremony. We joined hands and danced together through the land to a wooded glade where chairs had been set out in a giant circle.

The circle mattered. It represented and held the sacredness of their commitment to each other, to their family and to their community. Nobody sat at the back! Nobody was looking in from the outside. Everyone was in it together which is just how we had planned it to be.

Weaving in Their Community

Given how much L&C love their community, I wanted as many of them as possible to be a part of the ceremony itself. A friend helped me to smudge and sage the space with a bundle of rosemary, lavender and rose petals, carrying away old worries and the noise of the outside world, making room for the moment we were in. Two more friends cast a circle of sand around us as we called in the elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water and finally Spirit at the centre. On this day, Spirit was the community itself. Everyone who had ever lent an ear, held a hand or sat through a very enthusiastic monologue about how wonderful the other is!

A Little Bit of Ribbon Magic

Then came the ring warming and this is when something rather special happened. C’s children, on ring security duty, helped facilitate the ring warming. The plan was simple – L&C would bring a long piece of ribbon that would stretch around the circle and the rings would be threaded on to it to be passed around to every single person in the circle to hold the rings for a moment and breathe a wish or a blessing into them.

However, on the day they forgot the ribbon.

Every the prepared celebrant, I had come with a very long rainbow coloured ribbon of my own. Out it came! And as if by magic, it was exactly the right length to stretch the whole way around the huge circle. I have no idea how that happened – it was magic and it mattered to L&C.

By the time the rings had made their way back to the children at the other end, they’d been held and loved by everyone there.

Readings That Said It All

A dear friend and former flatmate couldn’t be there, so he sent some words he’d written especially for the day which I had the honour of sharing. Funny, tender, and finishing with a toast to the pot and its lid which got a big laugh.

Then C’s wife shared a reading which was one of the most tender moments of the ceremony. What she has given this relationship is the freedom for the people she loves to be exactly who they are, with a wholehearted, open-armed yes! Her reading celebrated everything two people can be for one another, and coming from her, it said so much about how love can be so much more than two people. Love at its best doesn’t hoard. It makes room.

Tying the Knot

L&C had each written their own vows and kept them as a surprise for each other. Beautifully personal. Funny in places and tender in others that you could feel the whole circle of friends lean in.

With the elements called in and the space blessed, we moved into the tying the knot  part of the handfasting. C’s wife brought the cord forward and placed it over their joined hands. I then tied it for trust, for joy, for care and for the whole wonderful constellation of their family. When they held that tied knot up in the air, the whole county must have heard the cheers!

The rings, still warm from all the hands that had gently held them, were exchanged before a lovely touch for these two silly clowns – they exchanged clown noses too!

We finished the ceremony by sharing mead from a quaich, a traditional Celtic loving cup, while every guest raised their own little bottle. To love without limits and to the uncommon wedding. To L&C!

Why Ceremonies Like This Matter

I don’t get to do ceremonies like this every day. But when I do it’s overwhelming in the best possible way. You see a completely different and authentic expression of love built on honestly, patience and an awful lot of laughter!

And the community holding L&C is something else. Warm, open, welcoming and so much fun! I walked into that circle as a stranger, and didn’t feel like one for a second!

I left that day feeling as thought the whole ceremony and L&C had reaffirmed why I love what I do as a celebrant. It was creativity at its best, a ceremony that went beyond what we often picture a commitment ceremony looking like and it was completely theirs.

Congratulations L&C!

Fast forward a few months and I was recently contacted by a friend of L&C to do a handfasting ceremony on the same land at Beltane. I’m just so grateful to do this work!

Does your love not fit in a box? Good. Neither do my ceremonies. Whether you’re dreaming of a commitment ceremony, a wedding, a handfasting, a vow renewal or something without a name, I’d love to hear from you!